Back To School, But Not For Me : Co-Parenting en La Casa de Hersch

Dear Readers :

I have been back in Texas for two weeks and am ready to get out of town.  It is HOT here, and my wee son has started tackle football!  We left El Rey and my daughter up en Los Hamptons since Texas football practice starts August 1!  Yes, conquer and divide, that's how we parent.  We both work and try to split parental duties.  So I have been here hydrating my son, buying sports things at Academy, and trying to understand how football garb works.

On a positive note, I have been reunited with my beloved pets.

Sweet Old Lucy doesn't seem to mind that "Jib" is tucked into her collar

Tinkerbell seems to think she is a Herschette 

And then there is Fred....

My son was given Fred for his birthday.   At first I was perturbed to have yet another thing to keep alive, but now I love Fred.  I like to decorate his man cave anew each week.  I really think Fred loves me, for thrice daily at feeding time he squirms about as I sing to him and drop flakes near his mouth.  Either that or he wants to kill me for giving him a Sponge Bob house. 

It could go either way, really.

But In a week I will be gone,  And El Rey will be responsible for feeding the Herschettes and pets.

I will be at NY NOW, formerly The New York International Gift Show, selling pillows, cocktail napkins and guest towels.

This is my newest cocktail napkin, a reindeer with a wintry scarf and the phrase "OLIVE A MARTINI."  I expect to sell out, naturally.  You, my pal, may purchase it here if you cannot make it to the Javits Center August 18-21, booth 2552.

While I am selling up a storm, my husband, El Rey, will be buying school supplies, back to school clothes, and arranging schedules.  Thank goodness, because that stuff makes me want to cry.  I have not been in a big box store for years and for that I am grateful to El Rey.

I am the parent who takes the kids to the doctor, dentist, and orthodontist.  After each visit I feel like posting on Facebook that I survived the mundane task, but I realize that not everyone feels it is an accomplishment.

I salute El Rey and his signing kids up for sports, after school activities,  school lunches and what have you.  But, let's remember, I parent as well.

I am going on a breakfast taco run now; can I pick up a taco for you?

xo,

Kate

Kate

The Hamptons on a Dollar a Day

Hello Readers!

How is your summer?  Mine has been wonderful, thank you.  I have been relaxing en Los Hamptons.

Seeing family...........

Entertaining friends...........

And exercising!  I have not abandoned running, and in fact have added a barre class.  I turned FORTY yesterday and will do my best to be in the best shape I can be given my commitment to red wine.

A few weeks ago during a heat wave I decided to go on a run.  I put a dollar in my running shorts.  In a pocket, thank you, thinking I could buy a Poland Spring Water if need be.

I ran past horses.....

And a vineyard.......

Then I was parched.  I ran to a famous take out gourmet shop.  I opened the door and was greeted by cool crisp AC.  The patrons of the store were good looking and many wore jodhpurs.  I was in five year old Nike shorts and a ratty v neck tee from Gap.  I waited patiently while the patrons scooped up luxurious foods, including the $100 per pound lobster salad.  Finally it was my turn.  I eyed a mini Evian bottle of water.

Me : How much is the Evian?

Twenty something behind counter with Russian accent : Two dollars.

Me : But I only have a dollar!

Twenty something just shrugs.

I mean, really!  Wouldn't you offer me a glass of water or a drink off the hose outside?

I ran east and thought I would collapse on the side of the highway.  I came to a public golf center and cafe.  I stumbled in and held up my wrinkled sweat stained dollar and said, "I only have this and may I please have some water?"  The sweet man gave me Vitamin Water, you know, the kind of fancy water that Jennifer Anniston drinks.  I had never had this, and it did the trick.  I ran home.  Showered.  Went to the beach and dropped off $3 to the golf center that had saved my life.

And the gourmet food shop?  I went there later that afternoon.  I had guests coming and I needed food.  The crab puffs are divine.

xoxo,

Kate

Go East, Woman!

Gentle Readers,

I survived my hiking spa!  And I feel healthy and in much better shape, thanks for asking.

We hiked 50 miles around Malibu in a week

I am happy to report I am back on the sauce but continue to exercise.  I am running one hour a day.

Tinkerbell insists on coming with.  She takes many breaks in the creek and finds me on the trail.  Tinkerbell does not need a leash.  She is too good for that.

Well, it's getting HOT here in Texas, and I just don't mean the 108 degree heat.  The politics are blowing up.  Since this is a blog about my business I shall refrain on saying more than...

This man trusts me to make decisions, and I trust him

I leave soon to the beaches of Long Island.  I will stitch, entertain,  and swim in the ocean with my children.  Not to worry, there are people here at August Morgan Worldwide Headquarters to fill orders while I am away.

In fact, I have a new napkin!!

This hand embroidered napkin may be purchased here.

 

Have a great summer and if you see me on the beach, please say hello!

 

 

xoxo,

 

Kate

The Final Countdown

Me : If you ever die, I'm moving back to New York.

El Rey :  If you ever die I am moving to West Campus.

Friends, if I perish during my week of hiking/no drinking/no smoking/yoga/no coffee, please don't let my husband move to West Campus.  I cannot have my babies raised by University of Texas sorority girls.

Next week at this time I will be high on life, or dead.  My confused husband told people at our club that the spa I am going to was called Promises.  It is not.  Promises is a rebab center.  The SPA I am going to is a swanky spa for people like me that have to pay to force themselves to be fit.  Sad, I know.

The spa sends a packet to get you ready a month in advance.  I have not weaned myself from any substances except diet coke.  But I have been hiking!

Whenever I appear in hiking gear my husband screams and flees the room.

Why am I doing this?  A friend and I thought it would be a good idea months ago when we booked it.  Now I am just plain scared of exercise and lack of vices.

Maybe I'll meet someone there.  Oh wait, I don't think I would be attracted to a man that went to a spa.  Plus I'm married.

The sad truth is I really don't care what I look like.  I used to kind of care, but that was when I was young and needed no make up.

When I was twenty something I worked in the Bid Department of Sotheby's in New York during The Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis Sale.  I had to enter thousands of bids and work nonstop.

Young and thin me, sobbing to my boss : I have lost my looks!!!

Boss, in High WASP lockjaw :  Kiddo, everyone in this building thinks you are quite attractive.  Go have a coffee and take a walk around the block!

Page from the enormous and fabulous JKO Catalogue

Cut to to present day.  Last Sunday I took the kids to the club to swim, as El Rey had to skedaddle out of town for lord knows what.  When I got to the club, to my amazement I was wearing a brown bathing suit that I had no recollection of purchasing.  The it hit me : I WAS WEARING MY HOUSEKEEPER'S BATHING SUIT!  She apparently stored it in my bathing suit drawer and I didn't notice.

At times I have my housekeeper take my children to the pool so I can lie in the dark and watch Ancient Aliens.

I solemnly vow to be the kind of person that cares about my appearance. I vow to embrace fitness, juicing things, and long walks on the beach.  Just for the week I am away at the spa, mind you.  Because after a week of no wine I am going to be

My newest cocktail napkin may be purchased here.

xoxo,

Kate

Cocktail Napkins as Teacher Gifts?

Lately I have been getting emails from companies that are peddling teacher's gifts.  Really, gifts for teachers?  Shouldn't having the privilege to teach my child be gift enough?

I guess not.  I do give gifts, but I wish I could just give my August Morgan Cocktail Napkins as it would save me the hassle from leaving my house and the napkins are conveniently strewn from room to room.

But would that be appropriate?  No.  But let's suspend disbelief and pretend we are giving my napkins to imaginary teachers.  And we are writing imaginary notes to imaginary teachers.  Yes, let's suspend disbelief because I have one child away on a school trip and another playing soccer with my housekeeper inside my house and I have time to myself.

Now all of my children's current teachers are fabulous, naturally.  But I have had some mean and strict teachers.  Pobody's Nerfect, as someone said some time.  Hence let the pretend gift giving begin!

Dear Ms. X : Thanks for a great year.  I, personally, do not believe you ever came to school plastered.

 Mr. B : Either pass my child or I swear Owl Have Another child that you have to teach.

Mrs. O : Thank you for your years as a teacher, but it's time to retire.  Also, your denim jumper needs to be burned.

Well, that was fun!  I actually have a great cocktail napkin one could give as a teacher's gift:

Dear Teachers : thank you for taking care of my kids and helping them to be better people.  I don't know how you do it but I am very, very grateful!

This darling napkin may be purchased here.   Or if you are in Austin swing by and pick them up.  I just saw a packet of them on the dining room floor.........

xoxo,

Kate 

Get While the Gettin's Good

Be scared, be very scared for me.  In a month I leave for a spa.

What's so scary about that, you might ask.  Well, sister, it is a very strict spa.  

Need I say more?  

We hike 10 miles daily.  I do not remember when I last worked out.  I had to go shopping for hiking things and it wasn't really fun.

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REI is no Neiman's.  But the staff was helpful!

The spa sent me a pedometer, which sits silently on desk, unused

There is a high probability that I will have a stroke without my vices.  Which is why it would be wise to purchase August Morgan pillows and linens now.

 Free shipping on all embroidered cocktail napkins and guest towels

New pillows you might enjoy:

 Geometric Needlepoint Pillow

Ranch House Needlepoint Pillow

 Alphabet Needlepoint Pillow

August Morgan pillows are also frequently on One Kings Lane Vintage and Market Finds.

So get while the getting is good!

xoxo,

Kate

Reflections on Collections : An August Morgan Embroidered Guest Towel Give Away

Many moons ago, as an Art History undergrad at the University of Texas at Austin, I began collecting.  My roommate and I would have garage sales and sell what wasn't nailed down to the floor.  With the cash we would buy a keg, have a party, and use the cash left over to go to other garage sales.

We bought what would make us laugh and change it into something new.  We had an old fashioned hair dryer chair and re upholstered it in neon pink fur.  We spray painted bubble wrap gold and used it as wall paper.  A very creative time indeed, sponsored by Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and a wine sold at the local gas station called Dr. Zin Zin.  But I digress.

The two of us started an on campus organization called SWANK : Students With A Number of Knickknacks.  We put up fliers around campus and held our meeting at Polvo's, where they didn't card.  To our amusement and delight,  student collectors came with their collections.  Roman coins, first edition books, vintage lunch boxes.  SWANK was a real club, and most of our members were male, which we welcomed.

As I grew older my collections became more serious as I had a bit more to spend.  Here is what I like to collect:

Pink Lustreware

Art

Books : Dalai and Dolly!!

What do you like to collect?  Many of you have August Morgan Pillows and Napkins.  Here is your chance to own an August Morgan Tea Towel!

 

Simply go to August Morgan's Facebook Page, like us, and post a photo of your August Morgan goods.  Or if you don't own any yet, go to our website and pick which item you would like to collect and post that on our page.  A guest towel will be given to the first 20 posters, and more if I am feeling generous.

Happy Collecting!

xoxo,

Kate

You can never go wrong with a collection of rats in a revere bowl.