Friday, December 13, 2013

Celebrity Gift Guide : Tinkerbell Hersch






I know what you are thinking, what to give Miss Tinkerbell Hersch for the Holidays?  She is so loving, clever and supportive.  Well, she has agreed to let her wish list go public!

1.




Tinkerbell loves cash.  We hand it to her by the fist fulls and she just eats it up.  The we all laugh and say, "oh Tinkerbell, you crack us up!!"

2. 

Tinkerbell is on a Mexican Dress kick.  Explains Tinky, "In this age of high tech ipads, big box stores, and mass produced food, it is refreshing to wear a product that was made by hand.  In fact, I predict that next year we will see more stitching, and hear less bitching."  Remember folks, you heard it from Tinkerbell first.


Lastly, Tinkerbell wishes that you would purchase my latest cocktail napkin :


It may be purchased here.


Happiest Holidays!




xoxo,

Tinkerbell and Kate

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Why Can't I be Nice?







This week I had the honor to be included as a vendor in a holiday sale.  The sale took place at a gorgeous Austin estate and had other nice vendors.  I enjoyed the last of the balmy Texas weather and making money, naturally.

One woman came  to my table and looked at my wares as if they were space junk that had recently fallen to Earth.  "What are these?," she wondered.  "Why, cocktail napkins," I replied.  She stood there trying to take it all in and then said "like coasters?"

Was this woman raised by wolves?  Did Mammaw and Pappaw not use embroidered cocktail napkins whilst they drank their moonshine from a jug with XXX on it?

I then thought, why can't I be nice?  I resolved to educate her on linens that do not wind up in the garbage with a red solo cup, but she made a beeline to the bar instead.

I resolve to be nice, nicer, less snarky.  Some ideas include :

1. Tilt one's head to the side when talking to another person.  It provides the illusion that you are interested in what they are saying.

2.  Smile, not sneer, at OPC (other people's children).

3.  volunteer



Yesterday my children and I made "stockings" for the homeless.  We took socks and filled them with deodorant, food, combs and the like.  We then drove to a downtown homeless shelter and dropped them off.

On the ride home the children were silent.  I imagined them taking in the solemness of the shelter.  I was sure they were counting their blessings, vowing to be better siblings and children.

When they children returned home they immediately began to beat each other up again.  It was a long day.

Do you know what you could do to be nice?  Purchase my Embroidered Whale Cocktail Napkin.






And me?  I am going to keep on trying to be nice.....


I hear there's a pill for it!

xoxo,

Kate

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Letting Go, or How to Build an Empire

Good Morning!





The photograph above was an outtake from my photo shoot for a TRIBEZA article about moi.  I was flattered and thrilled to be included, and it resulted in three sales on my website, which is better than a kick in the head.

Yes, and it is the step in the right direction of taking August Morgan to a different level.  But first a brief history of August Morgan.

I began by re purposing vintage needle points into one of a kind pillows. I did the New York International Gift Show and was fortunate enough that Barneys picked me up my first market.

I sold my vintage pillows for years to amazing boutiques and decorators.  I now only sell my vintage collection through One Kings Lane Vintage and Market Finds.

I then started designing my own line of pillows that were hand stitched by fair trade artisans in India and sewn into pillows in Austin.
Pinatas : Before and After
These pillows, while quite clever, were rather expensive due to the labor involved.  Lesson learned.

 Next came the August Morgan Cocktail Napkin.  These have been very successful and so much fun to create.  They are sold in shops around the US and even in Tokyo and Germany!  They are also currently available on Anthropologie's website.

But what next?  How do I become the next Tory Burch?  I asked my husband to be my Chris Burch and write my business plan.  He replied that they eventually divorced.

I have hired an assistant to help me with the more tedious tasks.  But it is hard to let go.  I spend hours sifting through napkins, making sure they are perfect.  While doing this, the TV is usually on.  When Law and Order is not on the one channel I get in the kitchen, NCIS is on.  Question : Why are there so many murders in the Navy?  I never knew.   And on US soil to boot.

But I have to let go of napkin sorting.  Tory Burch would never do that.  Or Tori Spelling, probably.

I am also in the process of getting a big girl office.  More on that later.

So yes, slowly but surely, August Morgan will grow.  I will let go of the tedious tasks so I have more time to be creative and dream up new napkins, such as the soon to be famous.....

Wouldn't these be a great hostess gift for Thanksgiving?  You should buy them.  Thank you in advance for expanding my empire.

xoxo,

Kate




Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Blankets and Bribery

Do I have to put up those Halloween decorations?  If you drive around my leafy, lush neighborhood you will see gigantic spiders clinging to doric columns, wacky scarecrows in the yard, and the wretched witch on a broom crashing into a tree.  I don't even have a pumpkin out.

I loathe the idea of forced fun, and hate even more the idea of decorating for it.  That's why I married a Jewish man; you just put a menorah out and you are finished.  But there is eight nights of gift giving.  That does require effort.  Last year my daughter asked "Mom, please wrap my gifts this year."  Oh, children!  Needy and greedy at the same time.

I did impress myself by having the kids costumes done by now.  Now I have to decorate.  Last year we made decorations, which embarrassed my children.  I thought them clever.

Nothing says Halloween like a spider in a terrarium full of succulents!


 I even baked cookies!

Mmmmmm. Not really.

What will I give myself as a bribe to decorate my house the way my children want me to?  Let's think on that.

I was at the hair dresser's last week, and while waiting for my hair to turn blonde I overheard a very loud mother yapping away on the phone.  "I told her if she lost five pounds I will buy her a guinea pig, and then she got the stomach flu.  I told her that didn't count!"  Really, bribing a your child to
lose weight makes me the mother of the year!!  I bet she has that wretched witch in her yard.

Do you have a task or errand you are loathe to do?  Bribe yourself with an August Morgan Elephant Throw!

 The Elephant Throw measures 60 x 60 inches, is reversible in slate blue and off white.  100% cotton and is so very soft.  Woven like a knitted sweater.

 





Don't you want one?  You deserve it!  Just click here to order.

And my bribe for buying decorations?  No bribe big enough.  I've decided to send my housekeeper to the store for a pumpkin.  I am going to rip a giant spider off my neighbor's column and put it on mine.

Happy Halloween!

xoxo,

Kate

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Back To School, But Not For Me : Co-Parenting en La Casa de Hersch

Dear Readers :

I have been back in Texas for two weeks and am ready to get out of town.  It is HOT here, and my wee son has started tackle football!  We left El Rey and my daughter up en Los Hamptons since Texas football practice starts August 1!  Yes, conquer and divide, that's how we parent.  We both work and try to split parental duties.  So I have been here hydrating my son, buying sports things at Academy, and trying to understand how football garb works.

On a positive note, I have been reunited with my beloved pets.

Sweet Old Lucy doesn't seem to mind that "Jib" is tucked into her collar

Tinkerbell seems to think she is a Herschette 


And then there is Fred....


My son was given Fred for his birthday.   At first I was perturbed to have yet another thing to keep alive, but now I love Fred.  I like to decorate his man cave anew each week.  I really think Fred loves me, for thrice daily at feeding time he squirms about as I sing to him and drop flakes near his mouth.  Either that or he wants to kill me for giving him a Sponge Bob house. 

It could go either way, really.



But In a week I will be gone,  And El Rey will be responsible for feeding the Herschettes and pets.

I will be at NY NOW, formerly The New York International Gift Show, selling pillows, cocktail napkins and guest towels.


This is my newest cocktail napkin, a reindeer with a wintry scarf and the phrase "OLIVE A MARTINI."  I expect to sell out, naturally.  You, my pal, may purchase it here if you cannot make it to the Javits Center August 18-21, booth 2552.

While I am selling up a storm, my husband, El Rey, will be buying school supplies, back to school clothes, and arranging schedules.  Thank goodness, because that stuff makes me want to cry.  I have not been in a big box store for years and for that I am grateful to El Rey.

I am the parent who takes the kids to the doctor, dentist, and orthodontist.  After each visit I feel like posting on Facebook that I survived the mundane task, but I realize that not everyone feels it is an accomplishment.

I salute El Rey and his signing kids up for sports, after school activities,  school lunches and what have you.  But, let's remember, I parent as well.

I am going on a breakfast taco run now; can I pick up a taco for you?

xo,

Kate


Kate




Tuesday, July 23, 2013

The Hamptons on a Dollar a Day







Hello Readers!

How is your summer?  Mine has been wonderful, thank you.  I have been relaxing en Los Hamptons.

Seeing family...........





Entertaining friends...........





And exercising!  I have not abandoned running, and in fact have added a barre class.  I turned FORTY yesterday and will do my best to be in the best shape I can be given my commitment to red wine.

A few weeks ago during a heat wave I decided to go on a run.  I put a dollar in my running shorts.  In a pocket, thank you, thinking I could buy a Poland Spring Water if need be.

I ran past horses.....


And a vineyard.......





Then I was parched.  I ran to a famous take out gourmet shop.  I opened the door and was greeted by cool crisp AC.  The patrons of the store were good looking and many wore jodhpurs.  I was in five year old Nike shorts and a ratty v neck tee from Gap.  I waited patiently while the patrons scooped up luxurious foods, including the $100 per pound lobster salad.  Finally it was my turn.  I eyed a mini Evian bottle of water.

Me : How much is the Evian?

Twenty something behind counter with Russian accent : Two dollars.

Me : But I only have a dollar!

Twenty something just shrugs.

I mean, really!  Wouldn't you offer me a glass of water or a drink off the hose outside?

I ran east and thought I would collapse on the side of the highway.  I came to a public golf center and cafe.  I stumbled in and held up my wrinkled sweat stained dollar and said, "I only have this and may I please have some water?"  The sweet man gave me Vitamin Water, you know, the kind of fancy water that Jennifer Anniston drinks.  I had never had this, and it did the trick.  I ran home.  Showered.  Went to the beach and dropped off $3 to the golf center that had saved my life.

And the gourmet food shop?  I went there later that afternoon.  I had guests coming and I needed food.  The crab puffs are divine.

xoxo,

Kate



Saturday, June 29, 2013

Go East, Woman!

Gentle Readers,

I survived my hiking spa!  And I feel healthy and in much better shape, thanks for asking.
We hiked 50 miles around Malibu in a week

I am happy to report I am back on the sauce but continue to exercise.  I am running one hour a day.

Tinkerbell insists on coming with.  She takes many breaks in the creek and finds me on the trail.  Tinkerbell does not need a leash.  She is too good for that.


Well, it's getting HOT here in Texas, and I just don't mean the 108 degree heat.  The politics are blowing up.  Since this is a blog about my business I shall refrain on saying more than...

This man trusts me to make decisions, and I trust him

I leave soon to the beaches of Long Island.  I will stitch, entertain,  and swim in the ocean with my children.  Not to worry, there are people here at August Morgan Worldwide Headquarters to fill orders while I am away.

In fact, I have a new napkin!!

This hand embroidered napkin may be purchased here.
 
Have a great summer and if you see me on the beach, please say hello!
 

 

xoxo,
 
Kate



Friday, June 7, 2013

The Final Countdown

Me : If you ever die, I'm moving back to New York.

El Rey :  If you ever die I am moving to West Campus.

Friends, if I perish during my week of hiking/no drinking/no smoking/yoga/no coffee, please don't let my husband move to West Campus.  I cannot have my babies raised by University of Texas sorority girls.

Next week at this time I will be high on life, or dead.  My confused husband told people at our club that the spa I am going to was called Promises.  It is not.  Promises is a rebab center.  The SPA I am going to is a swanky spa for people like me that have to pay to force themselves to be fit.  Sad, I know.

The spa sends a packet to get you ready a month in advance.  I have not weaned myself from any substances except diet coke.  But I have been hiking!



Whenever I appear in hiking gear my husband screams and flees the room.

Why am I doing this?  A friend and I thought it would be a good idea months ago when we booked it.  Now I am just plain scared of exercise and lack of vices.

Maybe I'll meet someone there.  Oh wait, I don't think I would be attracted to a man that went to a spa.  Plus I'm married.

The sad truth is I really don't care what I look like.  I used to kind of care, but that was when I was young and needed no make up.

When I was twenty something I worked in the Bid Department of Sotheby's in New York during The Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis Sale.  I had to enter thousands of bids and work nonstop.

Young and thin me, sobbing to my boss : I have lost my looks!!!

Boss, in High WASP lockjaw :  Kiddo, everyone in this building thinks you are quite attractive.  Go have a coffee and take a walk around the block!

Page from the enormous and fabulous JKO Catalogue


Cut to to present day.  Last Sunday I took the kids to the club to swim, as El Rey had to skedaddle out of town for lord knows what.  When I got to the club, to my amazement I was wearing a brown bathing suit that I had no recollection of purchasing.  The it hit me : I WAS WEARING MY HOUSEKEEPER'S BATHING SUIT!  She apparently stored it in my bathing suit drawer and I didn't notice.

At times I have my housekeeper take my children to the pool so I can lie in the dark and watch Ancient Aliens.

I solemnly vow to be the kind of person that cares about my appearance. I vow to embrace fitness, juicing things, and long walks on the beach.  Just for the week I am away at the spa, mind you.  Because after a week of no wine I am going to be



My newest cocktail napkin may be purchased here.


xoxo,

Kate





Friday, May 17, 2013

Cocktail Napkins as Teacher Gifts?

Lately I have been getting emails from companies that are peddling teacher's gifts.  Really, gifts for teachers?  Shouldn't having the privilege to teach my child be gift enough?

I guess not.  I do give gifts, but I wish I could just give my August Morgan Cocktail Napkins as it would save me the hassle from leaving my house and the napkins are conveniently strewn from room to room.






But would that be appropriate?  No.  But let's suspend disbelief and pretend we are giving my napkins to imaginary teachers.  And we are writing imaginary notes to imaginary teachers.  Yes, let's suspend disbelief because I have one child away on a school trip and another playing soccer with my housekeeper inside my house and I have time to myself.

Now all of my children's current teachers are fabulous, naturally.  But I have had some mean and strict teachers.  Pobody's Nerfect, as someone said some time.  Hence let the pretend gift giving begin!




Dear Ms. X : Thanks for a great year.  I, personally, do not believe you ever came to school plastered.




 Mr. B : Either pass my child or I swear Owl Have Another child that you have to teach.



Mrs. O : Thank you for your years as a teacher, but it's time to retire.  Also, your denim jumper needs to be burned.


Well, that was fun!  I actually have a great cocktail napkin one could give as a teacher's gift:


Dear Teachers : thank you for taking care of my kids and helping them to be better people.  I don't know how you do it but I am very, very grateful!


This darling napkin may be purchased here.   Or if you are in Austin swing by and pick them up.  I just saw a packet of them on the dining room floor.........


xoxo,

Kate 




Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Get While the Gettin's Good

Be scared, be very scared for me.  In a month I leave for a spa.



What's so scary about that, you might ask.  Well, sister, it is a very strict spa.  





Need I say more?  

We hike 10 miles daily.  I do not remember when I last worked out.  I had to go shopping for hiking things and it wasn't really fun.

]


REI is no Neiman's.  But the staff was helpful!





The spa sent me a pedometer, which sits silently on desk, unused



There is a high probability that I will have a stroke without my vices.  Which is why it would be wise to purchase August Morgan pillows and linens now.


 Free shipping on all embroidered cocktail napkins and guest towels

New pillows you might enjoy:



 Geometric Needlepoint Pillow

Ranch House Needlepoint Pillow

 Alphabet Needlepoint Pillow


August Morgan pillows are also frequently on One Kings Lane Vintage and Market Finds.

So get while the getting is good!

xoxo,

Kate